2-Week Adventure in Peru: Applications Open

Applications are officially open for ALIVE in Peru!

From May 19 – May 31 2018, join me, Anna Skuba, our apprentice Aspen Bentley, and our troupe of 10 wonderful people for an edge-of-your-comfort-zone trek through Cusco, Peru.

There are 7 spots available (10 people total). Early bird prices end after February 28 and second tier prices end after March 9 (more info below). Our goal is to pull together a high-energy, low-maintenance group of leaders who are down to take ownership, stretch their comfort zone, open up, and say yes. Read this page completely and if it doesn’t feel like a “F*ck Yes,” don’t apply.

…But if it does, you’re probably exactly the kind of person we want on this trip.



What To Expect

May 19: Arrive in Cusco (or ideally a day or two before to acclimate to the high altitude—we will get up to 15,200 feet!) We will pay for everyone’s lodging the night of the 19th. For the days before, you will pay an additional $30/night.

At 6pm on May 19 we have a Mandatory Trek Briefing. 

May 20 – May 24: Early wakeup on the 20th for our 5-day Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu. Click here for the full rundown—it’s enchanting.  Here’s a brief look at what this 5-day trek will entail:

  • Over 40 miles of hiking through different ecosystems—from snowy mountains to a glacier lake (see Lake Humantay photo above) to the tropical rainforest with fruit trees and waterfalls
  • A day in Machu Picchu (see photo above)
  • Trekking through the “cloud forest” in the upper Amazon jungle
  • A private chef, professional guides, and horses to carry most of our gear
  • Various small towns, base camps, and back trails with few tourists
  • Organic coffee, orange, and avocado plantations
  • Sleeping in glass igloos (see Sky Camp photo above), newly constructed jungle domes, and Andean huts
  • Delicious, highly-reviewed meals every day

May 24 – May 31: After our adventure we will get dropped off late at night on the 24th at our 3-story group house in central Cusco. On the 25th we will rest up, settle in, and gear up for our retreat week. Here’s what you can expect for our week at la casa:

  • Every participant will be responsible for leading at least one main activity for this trip. In your application below we ask that everyone includes a pitch: What activity might you lead? Be creative! It could be as simple as guiding a meditation or hide-and-seek in the woods, or as full-on as an improv comedy show or a volunteer project with locals or a hackathon at the house. We will help you organize, get tickets, budget and prepare for whatever you choose to lead, but you’re in charge.
  • Every night we will come together for a big yummy family dinner together. No phones, no distractions, just us. We will dedicate these dinners to sharing and listening (one microphone rule), playing games like fishbowl or the psychology game, going around the circle answering tough prompts, or even challenging ourselves by doing an entire dinner in complete silence.
  • Every day you can count on having free time to do your own thing (or organize something spontaneous). There’s a ton to do in Cusco. We’ll send out more information to the confirmed participants.

May 28: Full-Day Ausangate Rainbow Mountain Trek (see photo above)

May 30: Last day surprise activity 😉 followed by a send-off feast.

May 31: Check out of our group house and fly away. BUT—Cory, Aspen and Anna are staying an additional week bouncing around hostels, exploring, and possibly making a trek to Lake Titicaca. So after May 31 you’ll need to cover your own expenses, but you’re welcome to stay longer and travel with us.


Apply If This Applies To You…

  • You have a valid passport
  • You’re in good physical shape (can trek 40+ miles and up to 15,000 ft. altitude)
  • You feel alive as you read these intentions:

5 Intentions for ALIVE in Peru:

  1. Adopt an Attitude of Improvisation. We are generating this trip together. We are all supporting actors. In other words this isn’t about you consuming a vacation that someone else is organizing for you, this is us creating something as a team. Here are the 4 rules of improvisation according to Tina Fey:
    • Agree. This doesn’t mean literally agreeing with what anyone says or does—but instead of flagrantly rejecting or contradicting them, use your energy instead to understand, engage, and move forward.
    • Say YES, AND. Fully accept the reality that you’re in, then contribute to it. Again, you don’t have to agree in order to accept a situation or a person or an idea for what it is. Listen, lean in, add value.
    • Make Statements. Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
    • There are no mistakes. Only opportunities. SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG. The way you interpret and handle it determines whether or not it was a mistake or an opportunity.
  2. Push Your Comfort Zone: This trek is going to be hard. Spending this much time immersed with the same people could be challenging. Stepping up and leading a group activity might be intimidating. Some of our group conversations might get uncomfortably vulnerable. Expect this. Move toward this. Resist the urge to close down when it gets overwhelming. The edge of your comfort zone is the hardest and most growth-saturated place you can be.
  3. Open Up To Deep Connections: Every night we will get together for dinner without our phones or anything to distract us and we will get to know each other. Everyone will speak and everyone will listen. We’ll look each other in the eyes and connect on a level many of us don’t anymore.
    We will walk 40 miles together. We do things none of us have ever done before together. We’ll get playful and lovey and irritated and tired and generous and grateful together. We will lead each other and follow each other.
    For these two weeks, give yourself permission to be vulnerable, open up, let people in, and share yourself.
  4. Take Ownership: Ownership changes the game. When people have ownership of a project something shifts: they care and support it and bring it to life. During this retreat you will take ownership for leading or facilitating or organizing some aspect of the trip. Don’t worry—we will help you make it epic—you’re not alone : )
    But this is not a lazy, chill-by-the-pool vacation. This is real and present and alive. Add value. Instead of consuming this trip, generate it.
  5. Play. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Try stuff. Be resilient. Compete. Let yourself look bad. Opt in. Get weird.



  • Early bird (apply by February 28) $1,990
  • Normal bird (apply by March 9): $2,290
  • Late bird (apply by March 30): $2,490
  • Where you been bird: (apply by April 20): $2,690

Price Includes:

  • Lodging from May 19 – May 31
  • Group transportation in / around Cusco from May 19 – May 31
  • Group travel insurance (including medical coverage)
  • Big lovely group dinners every night
  • Simple breakfasts every morning
  • Snacks for around the house
  • 5-Day Machu Picchu Trek (all inclusive)
  • 1-Day Ausangate Rainbow Mountain Trek (all inclusive)
  • Other group activities in Cusco (including the ones you lead)

Price Does NOT Include:

  • Flights to and from Cusco
  • Lodging and transportation for days before May 19 and after May 31
  • Additional snack foods, souvenirs, or anything personal
  • Alcohol
  • Tips for tour guides

If you want to secure your spot but can’t pay the full amount yet, let us know.

Refund Policy:

  • Cancel within 24 hours, 100% refund.
  • Cancel before March 1, 75% refund.
  • Cancel between March 1 and April 1, 50% refund.
  • Cancel on or after April 1, no refunds.


Apply Here


Once you’re confirmed and paid, we will send you an information packet, a waiver to sign, and a list of the information we’ll need from you.

Once our whole group is confirmed we will invite everyone to a WhatsApp group chat so we can ask & answer questions, bounce ideas off of each other, and stay in the loop.

For anything else, feel free to reach out to Cory (katuna@me.com) or Anna (annaskuba@gmail.com). 

**Please share this with anyone you think would be perfect for this trip! Our goal is to have a curated group of wonderful people—so the more eyes we can get on this the better.

11-Day Trek In Egypt: Applications Open

Wanna come to Egypt?


This is THE FIRST OFFICIAL international group trip / collaborative retreat / meditation excursion and we’re looking for the right 10 people to come along.

Here’s the deal: read through the description and if it resonates, apply by writing me a short message to let me know why. It’s important to us to curate an incredible group so after you reach out we’ll set up a group call to see if it’s a good fit 🙂

(FYI: If this trip doesn’t resonate, I’ll be leading more this year with different themes and intentions so stay tuned). 

From this March 27 – April 6, 2018, join me, my friend and co-host Georgina, a private professional guide, a team of Bedouin (nomads) and a herd of camels for an 11-day trip in Egypt for up to 10 people.

Here’s the main filter—(and be honest, this should either energize you or repel you):

Expect nothing.

Okay, of course there will be structure. We’ll meditate in the mornings. We’ll eat together. We’ll have our transportation and logistics figured out ahead of time. We’ll play games and encourage each other to lead activities and get to know the Bedouins and probably develop some inside jokes. We’ll get a solid break from our work and our phones and our daily tedium. We’ll sleep under the stars some nights. We’ll spend most of our time silently trekking through the Dahab desert on camelback. We’ll get attached to the camels and probably each other…

When you see “Expect nothing,” take it less literally and more energetically. It’s the attitude we’re looking for from the group we take. We want a group of people who are wide-eyed and ready and curious. People who are low-maintenance and supportive and non-dramatic. People who are excited about being encouraged to drop their expectations and attachments in order to be right here right now. We want to know we’re spending 11 days with people who feel the same way we feel: in love. Present. Light. Grateful. Open.

In other words, don’t apply if you’re looking for a conventional tourist vacation. This trip is not about being entertained or stimulated. It’s simpler (and perhaps harder) than that: be present and open and loving and empty. Over and over and over and over.

The truth is: we don’t know what to expect either, so how could you? But we know [and love] how it feels. If you feel that too, we want you on our trip. 

Some specifics:


  • Deadline to confirm with minimum $600 payment: January 22
  • Deadline to pay in full: February 1 (Absolutely no later than February 15)

Dates: March 27 – April 6, 2018 (11 day trip with 7 days in the desert)

Cost: $1,700 excluding airfare

Cost includes:

  • 7-day journey in the Dahab desert (with a professional guide (desertjoy.nl), Bedouin, camels, meals, etc.)
  • Rooms before and after the desert journey
  • Group dinners before and after the desert journey
  • Transportation within Egypt (excluding airfare)

Participants must:

  • Be open and wonderful
  • Purchase your own flights into Sharm el Sheikh, arriving on or before March 27
  • Pay for your own visa ($25 – $35 upon arrival to Sharm el Sheikh airport)
  • Pay for your own travel insurance if desired
  • Confirm by February 1 with minimum $600 payment
  • Pay in full ($1,700) by February 1. (absolutely no later than February 15)
  • Bring sleeping bag + sleeping mat

A Possibility: 

  • We are now most likely ALSO doing this trip in mid October in addition to the March trip. So if that’s your preference, mention that in your message to me.


The #100Somethings Challenge Returns

Heads up: THIS SATURDAY (September 23), is the 100th day from the end of the year.

Around this time last year, a few hundred of us committed to doing one thing (in my case it was publishing a blog post) 100 times before the end of the year. We called it the #100Somethings Challenge and it was awesome. Some people did 100 sketches. Some people wrote 100 letters. Some people walked their dog 100 times. Some people got in 10,000 steps 100 times. We did so many somethings.

I didn’t complete my 100 blog posts, but I got more creative momentum than I’ve ever had in my life. That challenge had me activated. As a result I got in touch with Bruce D Schneider and the iPEC community, went through the entire iPEC coach training program, and got my first ebook sponsored.  It’s something I think I’ll continue to do every year starting each September. 

This year I decided to switch it up.

Instead of doing one thing 100 times, this year’s challenge [for those who dare to join me] will be a little more involved: I made a list of 100 different things I’ve committed to doing before the end of the year.

Some things are epic and daunting and exciting (like launching my YouTube channel / Vlog). And some things are easy (like asking for something I don’t think I’ll get). Either way though, everything on this list is something that made me feel good when I thought of it. Everything on this list is a small, deliberate investment in what matters to me. This list is designed to raise my energy and the energy of the people around me. And just like last year, my intention is to finish this year like a champion and bust into 2018 like a fireball. 


If you’re in, here are the rules:

  1. If you haven’t already, join the #100Somethings Facebook group.
  2. Make your list of 100 Somethings. I chose not to do any repeats, but just feel into what works for you.
    • If you started by Saturday, September 23, you’ll finish on time if you do one thing a day.
    • If you started after Saturday, September 23, you might need to double up a few times to finish on time.
  3. The day you start, post a picture or copy & paste your list in the #100Somethings Facebook group. This is part of our accountability agreement. We’ll all share our lists before and after.
  4. Track your progress! Every 25 days I will do a checkpoint and ask people to post pictures / progress updates on their lists.
  5. At the end of the 100 days (on 1/1/18), EVERYONE posts our lists on the Facebook group, even if we didn’t finish it. This is our accountability agreement. If you start, be prepared to post at the end. Bonus points if you include a little blurb or video about how it went. 
  6. Let the games begin!

Edit: I suspect fewer people will do this year’s challenge than last year’s—so if we get a good solid group of 15 or 20 of us, it’d be fun to experiment with some other ways to stay aligned like webinars, group coaching calls, etc. I’d love to learn what it takes to really see this through for those who are up for it.

Shout out to Teresa Marick for sparking my interest in re-launching the challenge ❤

Finding Your Feminine

This isn’t something I ever thought I’d write. The feminine-masculine discussion irritates me. It’s over-conceptualized and played out. Too many people talk about the ‘hyper masculinity’ of today’s world without bringing the discussion down to earth. It doesn’t make sense to vilify masculinity and—honestly—most feminist rhetoric is distracting and compensatory. The “soul sister” women’s empowerment stuff feels overkill imo and the movement to get men to “stop mansplaining” and whatever else is short-sighted and does more harm than good. To be clear, I say all that with affection. I was a super-educated feminist activist for a couple years and I’ve been involved in all different kinds of intentional women’s groups. Those phases got me to where I am now.

I find myself now feeling the most feminine I’ve ever felt in my life and it’s not what I thought it was. It’s wonderful and solid. It’s the most consistently confident and relaxed I’ve ever been. Knowing this experientially shows me how little I understood feminine energy before and it makes it clear how much we misunderstand the feminine as a society. My intention for this article is to describe what feminine feels like “from the inside” in order to reorient whatever conditioned stories you may have collected and—hopefully—give you access to something that feels like a bit of a hidden gem. This obviously applies to all people, not just women.

As you read this, take a suuuuper deep, suuuuuper slow breath and imagine being really old. You’re reminiscing on how beautiful your life has been. You’re proud of who you’ve been and who you are. The people in your life are fulfilled and grateful and wholehearted. You’re surrounded by love and wisdom and kindness. And you feel this deep conviction that things are right—everything is ok. There’s nothing that needs to be done or fixed or addressed. All you can see is the absolute inherent beauty and perfection in everything and everyone.

Can you feel this? When I do I feel my chest and my stomach relax. My eyes soften and I feel this pervasive, grounded confidence. It’s much different than the confidence I had for most of my life. It’s not loud or active. And it’s not relative to anything else. It’s simple and foundational. It’s generous and present. It comes with a naturally slow, deep breath and what feels like exponentially more bandwidth to share genuine love with others.

In others, feminine energy feels magnetic. You expand in their presence. You’re drawn to them because you can feel their relaxed, low-maintenance love and acceptance and support for you. They don’t need or expect anything from you. They’re present and lighthearted and real.

My favorite men have a ton of this. My favorite humans have a ton of this.

I’m still a tad reluctant to call this “feminine” energy instead of just “grounded” energy or “confidence”—but it honestly feels feminine. Motherly. Grandmotherly. It’s this chill, loving, real, uncomplicated, supportive presence—like nature.

How to tap into your feminine energy

Think of feminine energy like the foundation. It’s permanently there beneath everything—beneath your thoughts and opinions and experiences. It’s the ocean floor, not the waves. What’s cool about this is there’s never a lack of feminine energy. It’s always right there, beneath the surface. So if you feel scattered or mental or stressed or concerned, it’s because you’re surfing up on the waves. That doesn’t make the body of the ocean less present, it just means you’re not paying as much attention to it.

You can’t think your way there. It’s a feeling. Quiet your mind and chill tf out. There’s nothing to figure out or solve or fix. Slow down. Breathe. Feel gratitude and appreciation and love.

Feminine energy isn’t relative. Don’t compare your energy to anyone else’s. Don’t make stories about how masculine so-and-so is. (Just drop the whole masculine-feminine comparison entirely for the rest of your life matter of fact). Drop your thoughts and interpretations and biases. Feminine energy is beneath all that. And if you find yourself caught up in thoughts and comparisons, no worries. That’s the nature of feminine energy: it’s always right there. Available and supportive and loving and nonjudgmental and present.

Practice. Meditate. Look for excuses to soften into your feminine nature. Take advantage of catalysts that bring you up into the waves—use them to relax back into the water.

Photo credit goes to me #selfie

A Message of Gratitude for iPEC

My intention for this post was to give folks some straightforward insight into iPEC’s Coach Training Program now that it’s almost halfway through. But what I’m feeling right now is grateful—like a strong, heartfelt gratitude. So instead of letting y’all in on specifics of the training, I’m going to let y’all in on what has me thankful to be going through it.

Some of my dreams now feel like plans.

I feel on track to some of the visions that in the past just felt like nice ideas.

Before iPEC started I had no inclination toward coaching or working one-on-one with folks—though when I would visualize the future I often had the thought come up that I’d be some sort of advisor or confidant to various high-impact people. As I go through this training and develop these skills—and now that I’ve started to interview potential coaching clients—I can imagine this manifesting pretty easily. This training seems to be a slipstream in the direction of goals that I didn’t realize were goals.

I feel more grounded than I have since I had a full-time job.

When I say “grounded” I’m referring to a sense that the way you’re living works. That you’re taking action, following through, and seeing results. People who are grounded feel that their lifestyle is sustainable and it makes sense and when they describe it to others they understand. And while feeling grounded is not necessarily associated with what I do (it’s a state of being, not a circumstance), I feel most grounded when I’m working on something that inspires me.

A few days ago I realized that I might be on the verge of starting a coaching business. Like really actually doing this. I never saw that coming—I thought iPEC would be more of a spectator sport for me. But now that I’ve sunk my teeth in, I’m energized and focused. I find myself generating ideas about how to move forward and taking action on them. I love the way this feels.

Sidenote—iPEC manages to work in both ways. It grounds the visionaries like me by putting us into the world and getting us activated. But it also enlightens the pragmatists. It reminds the workhorses to lighten up, raise their energy, see from higher perspectives and let go of attachment to results. This training is remarkably inclusive of all different kinds of people and belief systems—it meets you where you’re at and gets you into alignment. That deserves some gratitude imho.

It stays relevant despite my resistance.

Once in a while I find myself resisting this program. I’ve been avoiding the word “coach” and cringing when people ask me about my “life coaching program.” And once during a webinar I caught myself listening for everything I disagreed with instead of looking for the parts that resonated. It’s almost like I’ve been subconsciously looking for an opportunity to disengage.

But iPEC stays a few steps ahead of me. What they’re sharing with us is not black and white—they don’t claim to know “the right way”— so every time I get righteous about something I heard somewhere in the training, I hear someone else contradict it or offer an alternative that does resonate. There’s not much room for my right-making and wrong-making here because iPEC isn’t preaching anything. They’re exposing me to a bunch of options and giving me opportunities to discover what resonates and what doesn’t. They’re throwing me into the arena and offering support when I come asking for it.

Which brings me to my next point: I’m hungry for more.

Tomorrow is the first day of Module II—the second of three in-person weekend trainings—and for the last two weeks in my peer group calls we’ve been talking about how antsy we are to get our hands on the material in Mod II. Now that we’ve all done a little coaching using what we learned in Mod I, we’re more aware of our incompetencies and we’re eager to get some questions answered and learn more.

Almost every time I see or hear one of the trainers demonstrate coaching by working directly with someone in the course I’m impressed. They’re truly professionals. They know exactly what to ask, exactly how to handle situations—even ones that seem like a lost cause. They set clean boundaries. They know which tools to use when, etc. It’s a fluency I’m eager to learn.

Finally, and most importantly: they prioritize the energy.

As an organization (as I work with them, do their training, talk to their team members, and see the material they put out), it’s evident that what iPEC cares about most is raising peoples’ energy and consciousness.

In the coach training program, they’re less determined that we retain the details and rules and tools, and more intent that we integrate (or perhaps a better word is “remember”) what they call the “foundational principles”—things like:

“Truth exists regardless of belief or consensus”


“We are each a product of our own belief system.”

During Mod I we dedicated entire conversations to each of these foundational principles, and about 10 others.

More than anything, this is what I admire most about this program. It’s multifaceted and real and practical but it’s founded on deep intuitive truths that raise our energy and align us more closely with ourselves.

I feel lucky to be doing what I’m doing.

Thank you, iPEC.



photo by Jamie Katuna ❤

Want Me To Coach You? I’ll Take 3 People for Free.

The iPEC Coach Training program is almost a third of the way through and it’s time for me to start putting what I’m learning into action. I’m officially taking clients—three of whom I’ll coach (5 sessions each) for free. 

I’m doing this for three reasons:

  1. I’ve never officially coached before. This is an opportunity for me to get some practice, build my confidence, and gain clarity on what kind of people I want to coach in the future.
  2. It’s likely that I will want to write about what I learn as I start coaching people. I’ll ask for the three people I coach for free to be open to getting written about on my blog. (Don’t worry—I’ll clear everything with you before it goes live.)
  3. I want to dive in. I want to jump off the cliff and “just fucking start.” 😉 It’s the fastest way I know to integrate what I’m learning.

So essentially, by being one of my first clients, you’re helping me out too.

BUT I’m not down to coach just anyone.

I actually want to make a major difference for the people I coach. That means we need to be aligned to a certain extent. So before you apply, understand this: I don’t care about solving your problems. In fact, I don’t believe your problems exist. I’m not interested in helping you make more money or become more productive or improve your relationship. All that stuff resolves itself automatically and effortlessly when you stop fussing with your external life and just do the inner work. I’m not willing to spend much energy convincing people of this. If this doesn’t resonate with you, good to know—it’s likely we’d be a bad fit. Let me know and I can refer you to another coach in my program.

I’m only interested in coaching people who are committed to doing the inner work. I’m interested in coaching people who are done with their own bullshit and determined to get out of their own way. I want to coach people who are ruthlessly honest with themselves; people who care more about realizing their true selves than defending whatever identity they’ve constructed. (I’m also interested in coaching people who aren’t quite there yet but genuinely want to get there.)

In other words—using iPEC’s terminology—I’m less interested in coaching for Self-Mastery (levels 4 and 5) than in coaching for Self-Transcendence (levels 6 and 7).

All that said, right now (before starting) I know less about coaching than I’ll ever know. I have a lot to learn. That’s where you come in.


If you’re interested, go to the “Say What’s Up” tab of my website and shoot me a message with your responses to these prompts:

  1. Put yourself into the future looking back after our 5 coaching sessions: What’s different now about the way you experience yourself and your life? Best case scenario. 
  2. How important is this to you? 

If I sense we’re a good fit, we’ll schedule a 30-minute introductory interview where we’ll get a feel for each other and decide whether or not to proceed. During these introductory interviews I will decide which three people I’ll coach (5 sessions over ~2 months) for free. If I don’t select you for the free coaching, there’s a good chance I’ll still coach you for a price. We can decide on those details together.

Photo by Jamie Katuna

Stop Giving Advice (and other takeaways from iPEC’s Mod 1)

Mod 1 is the first of 3 in-person weekend immersions over the course of iPEC’s 9-month coach training program. There were 29 of us in my training and hundreds more going through trainings around the world. Ours was led by two intuitive, bright, funny women named Sherri and Nina. So far I’ve had an exclusively positive experience of this organization so my expectations were high. And still, despite my positive expectations, I was pleasantly surprised. 

Here are three of my favorite unexpected takeaways from Mod 1:

1. I realized that the idea of becoming a coach could actually appeal to me.

I discovered that I never really understood coaching in the first place (if I had, coaching always might have appealed to me). I thought coaches were just self-proclaimed experts who made you pay for their advice instead of giving it freely. And I thought the people who paid for coaches were extravagant and not very resourceful. Why hire a coach when you could ask your friends or google it or just try harder? Why are people paying each other for information instead of sharing it generously? It felt like a backward system. I never thought I’d use a coach and I certainly never thought I’d become one. 

What I misunderstood was this: coaches—at least the coaches that come out of iPEC’s training—aren’t there to help you, solve your problems, or give you advice. That’s what consultants and therapists and mentors do. Coaches raise your energy so you don’t need help or advice anymore. They get you to a state where you’re effortlessly solving your own problems (or not perceiving problems in the first place). I love that. 

2. I noticed my energy rise.

I still don’t know what to attribute this to—but my energy (my attitude; my feeling state; my sense of excitement and clarity and creativity) rose noticeably. I went in feeling pretty neutral and open. Just blank; curious and receptive. By the end of day three I was lit up. Joyful and activated and alive. What the hell? I even found this in my doodle-notes looking back afterward:


I wrote to Bruce D Schneider—iPEC’s founder—and asked him what it was about the training environment that raised my energy. Here’s what he said:

“It wasn’t the environment that raised you. It was a combination of a lot of things. I designed this to meet everyone exactly where they are and then take them where they want to be. Everyone is affected differently and at different times.”

He said Mods 2 and 3 will make it more clear. Looking forward to learning what that’s all about.

3. Giving advice is not as useful as I thought

This was particularly surprising. Early on in the training we got to see how worthless most advice is. And more importantly, we got a chance to feel how excruciatingly hard it is to NOT give advice—whether or not it’s being asked for.

Giving advice inherently validates and perpetuates whatever story that person is dealing with. Even if you give them a clever way to deal with their problem, you’ve met them on the level of their problem, thereby confirming the legitimacy of their problem and inviting further similar problems into their experience.

The alternative is to raise their energy to a level where that problem feels irrelevant, obsolete, or intuitive and easy to handle. The best tool we learned for raising someone’s energy? Ask them great questions.

Intuitively this is so clear to me—think about when you’re dealing with something tough and you tell a few people about what’s going on. The person who hits you with some immediate trivial “solution” is reliably the least useful conversation you’ll have. It’s the person who gets you thinking differently, reorienting the issue, questioning your approach and considering possibilities who makes a real difference. Isn’t it weird how quick we are to give advice despite how worthless it tends to be?


Here’s a quick video I shot about my experience with Mod 1, my stop-giving-advice discovery, and a few other thoughts related to my iPEC journey so far. Thank you Jamie for interviewing me and helping me put it together.