Everyone: Stop Making Me Cry

Enough. Have some respect for my day-to-day life. This is inconvenient. 

I’ll be sitting at work or in a restaurant or at a public event or in the middle of a conversation with my parents and I look down at my phone and all the sudden yet another one of you assholes gives me something to cry about.

It all began when I Just Fucking Started a couple weeks ago. Addie Hargett was the first one:

“Your blog finally made me feel like someone knew how it was to know that potential is there and how it’s confusing as fuck to reach but possible. I am happy to know you. So happy.”

That was the first time since I started this project that I understood experientially that the person giving the gift is the real recipient. And not that I intentionally gave a gift!— I did something for myself; something that filled me with enthusiasm and a little bit of fear; something that I knew would advance my dreams and move me in the direction of my best self. To know something I did for myself became a gift for someone else—THAT is the ultimate gift. I’m doing what fulfills me and lo and behold it added value to someone else’s life. What the fuck. That is like a high five from the universe. 

And since then it’s been waterworks. Y’all are unrelenting.

Tanya Baxter, one of my favorite living humans on the planet, hit me with this and it gave me a frog in the throat (if it doesn’t seem emotional in this context that’s because you don’t know Tanya. She plays hardball):

“I seriously fucking love the #100Somethings challenge. It’s exactly what I needed and I love it. You. Are. Brilliant. I just did my first journal entry and realized that every night when I write, I want to set a challenge for myself— small, silly or big — just whatever I’m vibing and I’m already feeling optimistic af. I love ittt.

I seriously love it all. So fucking proud of you, single in Chey Ho*

* Single in Chey Ho is a reference to Freshman year of college. This was before I knew Tanya, before college started, when everyone was applying for the dorms they wanted to live in. I applied for a single (a room without a roommate) in a dorm called Cheyenne Arapahoe (aka Chey Ho). Tanya applied for a roommate in a dorm called Farrand. Idk wtf happened with my application but Tanya got a roommate in Farrand and it was me. And it’s been like that ever since. 

Or my beloved Norwegian little sister, Ditte Mogensen, who said:

“You definitely make me want to start having goals for myself, and start trying to change things I don’t like about myself. I think after I moved out to Oslo I have grown so much, and actually start thinking more about things I want and things that I don’t want! This all came to my thought now that I started reading your blog. I mean I really want to change and I want to grow to be a better me! So with this challenge that just kick started it.”

You guys keep interrupting my life with depth and rawness and vulnerability and love. Like at least hit me with a warning before you drop this stuff in my lap.

Megan Cyr was responsible for a few full tears out of me tonight. She’s taking on a curated list of 100 things she’s always wanted to do, and checking one off every day— whether they’re small like smiling at everyone she sees that day, or huge like getting braces and jaw surgery:

screen-shot-2016-09-08-at-11-31-33-pm

“There’s no way a year or two or five ago that I would be able to get braces and walk around with the biggest smile on my face. I was making conversation with strangers today like “yeah I got a metal mouth and a massive underbite but I’m gonna talk your face off cause I’m so fucking pumped to get this process started.” I needed to gain my confidence as a human first… Love myself…. Be happy with where I’m at before any of this could have taken place. It was well worth the wait!

It’s almost like I have nothing to hide behind anymore… When I see someone it’s quite obvious I have jacked up teeth and a horrible bite now… It leaves me no choice, but to let my personality and light shine through which is so freeing. For the first time I’m not trying to hide my bite or smile. It’s like yeah I look ridiculous, but I’m gonna make your day so bright and inspire you in other ways!!!”

smh teared up again just going back through that quote ^

The second part of Megan’s quote up there reminded me of something Diane Korol posted today that resonated big time for us both:

“It was a SUPREMELY difficult decision to post my 100somethings on my Facebook wall. I bravely burst out of the “like-minded beings’ arena” into my WHOLE life. Now EVERYONE will know the whole of who I am, at least to the degree I express – the good, the stuck, the judgemental, the “Ooo-Ah & fooowy wooowy” spiritual stuff….. all of it!
There has been a tremendous and unexpected benefit to this. It seems that underneath the discomfort of being seen and of possibly freaking certain people out, the courage of my decision is fertilizing a seed of total self-acceptance. The more of “me” I publicize, the more comfortable I am showing up ANYWHERE.”

#TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg the wisdom.

And last but not least, the first tear-jerker of the day for me, Sarah Roberts:

“I FINALLY decided that I would contact 100 different people in the film industry. Acting has become my true passion and something I want to succeed in however it’s a difficult dream to achieve. Although I know in my heart I will be successful, it is sometimes hard to find the push I need to really reach that goal…

I decided to officially start today by contacting an old boss. He was the producer of most of the hallmark films… I used to work as a production assistant for this studio and they really loved me. I haven’t contacted them since I decided to turn to acting and I’ve continued to put it off.

I e-mailed the producer this morning and within the first hour he replied and said they started filming their new film just yesterday!! Quote: “You couldn’t have had better timing.” He has invited me to set tomorrow morning!!

I’m not sure what will come of this but it’s just so exciting to have put myself out there and already see the results. You were the first person I wanted to message, so you could know how your actions have already affected me. I can’t wait to keep you posted on what the future may hold for me! Please keep doing what you are doing! It’s making waves.”

Me right now:

which-kim-kardashian-cry-face-are-you-2-1875-1439313147-8_dblbig

 

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