I’m experimenting in this post, in real time, with how to shift from confusion and doubt to clarity and confidence.
I feel spaced out and a little doubtful again. I keep comparing myself to where I could be. I have a quiet, creepy, back-of-mind voice saying “you’re moving too slow. You’re soft. You’re not effective or activated enough to realize your potential, and you’re not disciplined enough to overcome that…” Gross. I know better than to believe that stuff, but that doesn’t make the voice go away.
Thanks to my discovery in my recent post If The Thought Feels Bad, It’s Not Yours, I have a plan for how to move forward. Instead of analyzing where I’m at, I’m giving myself a series of questions that may shift my perspective to one that’s empowering, energizing, and consistent with how I feel when I’m at my best. Let’s see how this goes.
What do you know for sure?:
I know that the better I feel, the more myself I am. The better I feel, the more useful and accurate and productive my thoughts are. That means the stuff going through my mind while I’m feeling low is less accurate; less credible. A good friend Kyle sometimes tells me “when you don’t know what to think, don’t think.”
I know that I’m on a mission to reach my potential—to optimize myself—and as I let people into this sloppy process; as I learn to do this in real time, I’ll be able to help a lot of other people go through the process from scratch too. The shitty moments, and my response to them, are a critical part of this process. They’re vital. They make it accessible and real for the rest of the world. It wouldn’t work if I just waited until I was successful and then told everyone how I got there in retrospect. That’s missing the point. This is good. Ahhhh ok yes this is good.
I know that I have everything I need. As Tony Robbins says, “It’s not about resources, it’s about resourcefulness.” Damn this is a key point. Glad I remembered that.
I know that I love this. It’s fulfilling and rewarding and hard. It comes with fear which is a really good sign. It comes with obstacles which means I’m growing. I love knowing I’m helping people. I love the #100Somethings challenge and the way people are getting hyped about it. I love having a goal that energizes me.
What do you love most about right now?
I just sat down at The Kitchen in Boulder to have brunch and do some more writing and someone said “Cory? I follow your blog. I love it. The way you write is so accessible…” Ho-ly-fuck whaaaat? She told me she’s thinking about doing 100 reflective bike rides before the end of the year for the #100Somethings challenge, and she thanked me for what I’m doing. I got her name and told her I’d give her a shout out so thank you Shaena. You totally made my day. That’s the first time that’s happened to me for this project. YOU are what I love the most about right now.
What are you grateful for?
I’m grateful for my mom. She sat with me last night for about 5 hours and we just talked. She poured us some wine, encouraged me, told me some inspiring stuff, asked me some inspiring stuff. I told her how I feel confused right now. I said “I don’t know anything right now.” She said “maybe there’s nothing to know.” It resonated. My mom is so tuned in to me. She’s present and brilliant and curious and helpful. While we were talking I had my notebook out. By the end of our conversation here’s what was on it:
I’m also grateful for my friend Nithin. He just wrote this to me:
What are you great at?
I’m great at seeing the best case scenario in situations, people and perspectives. I’m great at casual, stream-of-consciousness writing. I’m great at seeing people the way they want to be seen. I’m great at learning stuff. I’m great at growing. I’m great at being really honest with myself and others. I’m great at following my resonance. I’m great at drawing and design. I’m great at changing and admitting I was wrong. I’m great at making friends. I’m great at interviews (getting interviewed and interviewing others). I’m great at seeing how something negative is actually positive. I’m great at helping people sort through tough situations. I’m great at basketball (for someone who doesn’t play much lol). I’m great at learning new languages. I’m great at connecting with kids.
What are you passionate about?
I’m passionate about getting the best out of myself. Learning and transcending limitations and getting clearer, more confident, more self-aware, more effective, and more powerful all the time. I’m passionate about making the biggest difference I can make. I’m passionate about being the change I want to see in the world.
What’s something you’re proud of yourself for?
I’m proud of myself for Just Fucking Starting. I’m proud of myself for being so experimental; trying new things, changing directions, including new people into the mix, doing what matters to me, and being really honest with myself when I’m not pleased with my experience. I’m proud of myself for being where I am. Awwwww! I almost didn’t let myself write that last line, then when I did it almost made me tear up.
When do you feel the most alive?
I feel alive right now. I feel the most alive when I feel I’m moving fast. When I’m in action or when I have elaborate daydreams about exciting things to do. I feel the most alive when I’m being really fucking real. When, even though it’s hard, I’m being as real as I know how to be; saying the truth; having the hard conversation. I love hard conversations. At Trinfinity we had a tough conversation the other night and it was so energizing. Everyone just being real af about where they’re at, what they feel, what’s going on. Lots of disagreement, lots of intensity and authenticity. It was so enlivening. It felt edgy and catalytic.
I feel the most alive when I’m talking to someone and we’re resonating hard. When we’re both lit the fuck up and exploring ideas and making plans and imagining the future and laughing and our eyes are wide and we’re in awe…
What are you most excited about?
I’m excited about the #100Somethings challenge. It’s picking up more momentum than I anticipated. I can really start to see what’s possible: hundreds (or thousands… or…) of people who are exceeding their own expectations. Walking into the new year with a new level of confidence and clarity and optimism and support. People who have something to share but haven’t given themselves permission to share it yet. I imagine going into 2017 not only powerfully myself, but side by side with a massive squad of people who are newly doubtless about their ability to effect change when they want to. This gets more and more exciting the more I think about it actually.
Probably goes without saying but I feel way more like myself now. I feel energized and excited and clear. Pretty good permission slip here to up-level energetically instead of wallowing around in the randomness. I’m glad I did this. Feel free to use these questions whenever you want.